When is the right time to have a conversation with a senior loved one about a move to an assisted living facility? And how do you initiate that important but often difficult talk? The knowledgeable staff at The Sequoia Assisted Living in Olympia work every day to assist families weighing these significant senior living questions.
The Sequoia Assisted Living staff offer their expertise in signs to look for and ways to respectfully communicate with a family member facing aging issues impacting their quality of life. Executive Director Carolyn Driscoll says it’s important to listen and watch for cues. “Our loved ones will tell us what the problems are,” she says.
Driscoll adds that it’s never easy to talk about moving to an assisted living community, but it’s critical not to ignore signs indicating the time is right. “One of our main messages is, you have to say something,” she explains. “You must start somewhere. Deep down, they are adults and know they aren’t doing as well as they used to.”
The Sequoia Assisted Living Staff Describe Signs that Someone May Be Ready to Move from Independent Living
Assisted living caters to older adults needing a moderate level of care beyond independent living but do not require extensive medical assistance found in skilled nursing facilities. Driscoll, and former Sequoia Senior Living community family member turned current team member, Molly Howell, say several signs can indicate it is time to start the conversation about moving into a care setting. Howell knows this stage firsthand, as she helped move her mother and another loved one move into The Sequoia Assisted Living when they searched for an Assisted Living solution.
- Medication Errors. Observing that your senior loved one is not taking pills as prescribed, or is failing to refill prescriptions, is one indicator. “If they use a pill box or organizer, you may notice that some of the doses are still in the box and not taken, or some may have been taken ahead of time,” says Driscoll. “They are not tracking as well as they used to.” Medication errors can cascade into other problems. Howell says that while her mother said she was taking her medications, her behaviors indicated otherwise. “I saw she hadn’t ordered meds in three months,” Howell explains.
- Mobility Related Injuries and Problems. New injuries may indicate slips and falls. “They say they haven’t fallen but you see the bumps and bruises,” says Howell. Driscoll adds that excuses to not go out for a lunch or a walk may indicate mobility or gait issues.
- Lack of Self Care. A failure to bathe, change dirty clothes, fix hair or makeup, shave, or trim and clean fingernails are more clues. “They used to take care of themselves, but that has changed,” says Driscoll. Howell says her mother was an impeccable dresser but when she started to decline, she began wearing layers of clothes rather than changing outfits.
- Mood Changes. A decline in mood or a lack of interest in usual activities and decreased social interactions are more cues that mental and physical changes may require a different living situation.
- Driving Challenges. Pay attention if the car has new scratches or dents, or they mention they don’t see well driving at night or have trouble reading road signs. “I would emphasize that if anyone has concerns about their driving, don’t blow it off, and don’t wait to do something,” Driscoll says.
- Food Issues. Another cue is when a senior no longer prepares meals or fails to notice that their food expired.
The Sequoia Assisted Living’s Experts Offer Tips on Initiating Conversations About Moving to Senior Living
If you see these kinds of signs in your elderly loved one, begin the conversation. Driscoll says it can be tricky and may depend on your relationship. Howell started by discussing her safety concerns with her mother that could be addressed through assisted living services. “One of the biggest things in framing it for them was safety,” she says. “Safety became a big issue.”
Another tip is to schedule a tour, which provides a platform to discuss quality of life gains with assisted living offerings such as activities and life enrichment programs, nutritious meals, housekeeping, new friendships and more.
A tour also provides an opportunity to meet with a facility nurse who can open the door to more detailed conversations about physical and emotional needs. “People are afraid to bring their parents in and tour but when a nurse sits down and talks with them, they will say all sorts of things to a trusted nurse that they wouldn’t say to a friend or family member,” says Driscoll. “It gives them the opportunity to say what they need help with.”
For more information, see the resources on The Sequoia Assisted Living Community website.
The Sequoia Assisted Living Community
825 Lilly Road NE, Olympia
360.999.5039
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