By Emily McMason
December for most of us is a crazed rush from the end of Thanksgiving straight through until New Year’s Eve. But what if it weren’t? What if, this year, instead of frantically trying to buy up things to give, we instead gave the gift of experiences? Presents that focused on shared events? Gave a list to our in-laws that included ways they could help our child grow instead of the light-flashing-sound-making-plastic that drives us crazy? What if we changed to the month of BEcember?
Sounds interesting. Which is all well and good, but how do we create such a month? How do we figure out experienced-based gifts to give? When I was in graduate school, we read Parenting Well in a Media Age. In it the author, Gloria DeGaetano, posits that there are five essential needs that must be met in order for children (and adults) to thrive. It is impossible to give a nuanced report of each one in depth here, so, with my apologies, I am going to do a hack job. I’m boiling 245 pages of careful research and reflection down to five verbs.
Connect. Be. Make. Create. Contribute.
It is these five verbs that we can use as our basis for better giving. Together they can create a new framework for the gifts we give. Any gift. For any person. All season long. And while it seems like it might make it more complex, it actually made it much easier. Think of it as an Occam’s razor for giving.
Connect. Does this give us time to spend together? For grandparents or parents this could mean a family membership at The Hands On Children’s Museum, passes to Wolf Haven, a cooking class at Bayview School of Cooking or swimming lessons at Discover Aquatics.
Be. Does this provide the opportunity for quiet solitude? Together you and your gift recipient could take a meandering walk through the bookstores of downtown, exploring the shelves at Orca Books, Browsers’ Book Shop, De Colores Books, Whodunit? Books, and Last Word Books. Or, you could offer them a gift certificate from any of these spots and give them the complete gift of silence.
Make. Does this offer a chance to explore the world in a new way? Whether we are doing the making or appreciating the end result of others, it is a great way to gift. Check out the offerings at (re)fabulous for sewing classes or Canvas Works for knitting. Make a date to head over to Habitat for Humanity’s Restore for do-it-together projects. Don’t identify as a DIY-er? Then check out the makings of others at The Red Door or Flow and Function.
Create. Does it encourage self-expression? Go together to The Painted Plate or Let’s Paint! Or give a gift to yourself (and drag along your best friend) by signing up for dance classes at Studio West Dance Academy or the Olympia Dance Center.
Contribute. Can you issue an invitation to become a part of the community? Connect with the Thurston County Food Bank, the Thurston County Humane Society, South Sound Reading Foundation, United Way of Thurston County, or the Boys and Girls Clubs of Thurston County among many others.
So make your list, check it twice. Does it match one (or more) of these verbs? Voila! Success! The beauty is in the simplicity. There are no rigid rules, just a loose frame that works no matter the occasion, recipient, budget, sense of humor or sense of style.
And what about your BEcember traditions? Is there something you’d like to share? Drop us a note at submit@thurstontalk.com so we can add to our list for next year.
Here at ThurstonTalk, we hope such a month will have a little more joy, a few more smiles, a little bit of the magic you remember from childhood. From all of us to all of you, happy BEcember.
May it last throughout the year.
